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i put on a grrt show with every mask , do applause
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youcan'tseewhati'mhiding
Monday, 23 August 2010
this is still not what i wanted . i want things to be back as it was . i'm tired of putting on masks . i should get an oscar by now , so where's my trophy ? the face you see is just a mask i chose to put on today . what you see isn't me . whatyouseeisnotwhatitis
it hurts soo much . who i am inside is screaming and screeching to get out , show itself . but i'm a girl with many masks . i put on different shows . no one is suppose to see or know the real me . i am struggling to swallow her up . i am a health freak . i no longer eat meat . and i decided on a vegetarian diet . im on the verge of going on pills . and my mind is on a set of buying them tomorrow . my parents says i am fat and i have no self confidence at all . ive always look down on myself , and i love going on solo . being alone is peace . i feel like locking myself on my room so that no one has to see or look at me . i feel like wear a paper bag on my head . i am taking extreme measures . i'm sorry , for hurting myself . heavenforbid-violentkisses
Sunday, 22 August 2010
ahha . my fav phrase heaven forbid violent kisses heaven forbid , picked up from one of my fav songs ; Past Praying For . violent kisses , obviosly from my other fav song Violent kisses . and this brought back to one of my ex-bestfrrn . let's name her D . she and i share a few things in common . one of her secrets was tht , she made out with her bestfrrn before . obviously , her bestfrrn i'm talking about is a guy . and yes , that is one of the common thing i had with her . hope , i dont have to repeat what . i told her i regretted what happened btwn me and my guy bestfrrn because it brought us far apart . we no longer contact , even when we meet or go out with our other frrns , we never talk to each other neither look at each other . it saddened me . D , said it also happened to her . honestly , its a lie . her bestfrrn is in the same class as us . they still talk to each other . they take pix together and even sit together in some events . That pmpn sumpah fake btui ! Aku nih , diaa pn nih . Aku tuh , diaa pn ituh . Penyebok ! there's many things i faked just to catch her 'fakeness' . it never failed to prove that she is indeed faking . nobody knows . only i do . and thts why i ended the bestfrrnship . haha , i miss my guy bestfrrn . can we forget whatever that happened btwn us ?
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