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i put on a grrt show with every mask , do applause
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That boy.
Monday, 25 February 2008
Ok. School is okay. But I miss P5 and P6. I miss fighting with the boys. In class, I sit with the most irritating boy. He keep disturbing me. And of coz, he get it from me. I don't know why, I do have feelings for him. I try not to think about it. To me those feelings NEVER exists. Anyway, life in school is okay. Only that I keep forgetting to bring books, files. Terrible me. I really miss 6G kids. Bullying and fooling around was indeed fun. Making trouble was extremely fun. I kinda miss them. Do they miss me too? Yesterday..
Friday, 22 February 2008
Yesterday was the worst day of my life. Yesterday was the YOG 2010 final countdown. First, we were suppose to meet at 4.45. Last minute, the time was changed to 3.45. Runners had to be at the stadium by 2. I waited for C division girls, 800m to be called out and have our run. I thought that the 800m C division girls were running 3rd. Unfortunately, we were almost the last. 4 o'clock had past, and I have not run yet. I felt like crying. I don't know why. I did cry. A little. I felt worried, angry, sad, scared and frustrated. Worried because I knew I would not make it to school in time.(duh! It was pass 4, I thought the bus had left) Angry because I had to run late. Sad because I thought I would not get to go to Padang with my class. Scared because I thought I'd be the slowest runner among the other 800m C division girls. Frustrated because all I have all this emotions mixed up in me. At last, the teacher called out 800m C division girls to the track. By the time I finished running, it was 4.30. I sms-ed my friend to know if they are already at the Padang. She did not reply, nor she answer my phone call. Her handphone was switched off. I sat with my friends, feeling disappointed. I decided to go home. With a heavy heart, I walked out of the stadium with my classmate, Syarifah. On the way out, my friend who I tried to cantact earlier called me. She asked me where I was and said that I would still be in time because the bus have not arrived. Upon hearing that, I felt like screaming. After all that frustration, I could still make it to the Padang with my classmates. Syarifah and I ran from Jurong West Stadium to school, thinking that the bus would arrive at 5. The time on the stadium clock tells it was 4.50. After running faster than what I did in the run, we reached school. As soon as I put my bag down, I changed into a red T-shirt as we were instructed to. After waiting for sometime, Miss Ng, my form teacher, let us play a game of captain ball while waiting for the bus. In the middle of the fun, we had to stop our game. Miss Ng told us that the bus would not be coming. We had to go there by public transport. By the time we got there, the countdown was over. That was really DISAPPOINTING. My Friendship...a CURSE?
Wednesday, 20 February 2008
Have you ever wonder.. If your bad friendship life is a curse? I never had a good friendship. I always fight with them. And now in my new school, what happen for the last 2 years began to repeat itself. Me, in the same position, on two sides of the groups... AGAIN. Pulling me from one side to the other. This is exactly the same situation as last time. is this a CURSE? is it?? Do you care?
Saturday, 16 February 2008
Do you care? do you even remember me? Have you forgotten me? You seem happy with YOUR friends. You don't seem to miss me. You don't seem to miss US. Have you lost your memory? Had an amnesia lately? Hope you RECOVER soon. I HATE THE NEW YOU. i WANT THE OLD YOU BACK. Coward!
I really miss you. But I hate you at the same time. Today, you were not there for netball. Why? Is it because of me? Thinking I REALLY hate you? I yes. You're a COWARD! I think that you're too EMO. and you're proud of it? How can you be proud of being a CRY BABY? all you do is cry. Your occupation is to cry. cry & cry & cry What's got into you? A lonely ghost? Friendship
Monday, 11 February 2008
I never understand friendship. Especially ours. Same events kept happening. I could make a timeline of it. But too bad I can't Too many wars happen. UNCOUNTABLE I lost count. All the tears we cried. They were useless. I didn't tear much. I had no regrets to what I did. I know all of you did regret. I didn't regret because you deserve it. Why was I always the victim? It doesn't mean I was a new comer, you could use me! I know! I know! My weakness is that I always get used of! I'm tired. Now we're in different schools. And I hope you won't repeat the same old mistakes. ♥♥ don't let a tear fall. promise? Me n Myself Forever
The title doesn't mean that I'm ignorance or arrogant. The title of this post reminds me, that I'll always be me and I won't shed a tear if I never get a 'prince' I know I'm ugly. I won't go around and flirt or act 'pretty' to get boys. I'm happy with what I am. The most precious thing that I treasure in my heart, are those who I call friends. Not all, but some. Talking about friends reminds me of those days. The days we fought The days I hated them The days I promised myself never to forgive them Those promises were useless, Life is nothing without friends. She always say that. But she was the one who was chasing her friends away. Making them hate her. In the end she tries to make another story to cover it up. She make reasons for why she made those fights. Should I forgive her this time? Should I forgive and forget? Answer me GALS! YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO COULD GIVE THE ANSWERS. YOU AND I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS A THOUSAND TIMES YET I STILL ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS. I ALWAYS FORGIVE AND I REGRET. FOR THE LAST TIME I ASK YOU.. SHOULD I FORGIVE HER? WOULD YOU FORGIVE HER?? me & her, enemies or friends?
Sunday, 10 February 2008
FED UP
Tuesday, 5 February 2008
I can't take it anymore. These fights always happen. I'm really sick of it. I'm in an express class. Honestly, I'm damn stupid! How would you feel if you're in my place? When you didn't do anything wrong and your friend just say, "You call this friendship? Where's your promise?" 1st expression. surprised. shock. 2nd expression. confused. ??? What would you do? I admit it
Sunday, 3 February 2008
OK I admit it. I also change as well. Now, I'm more bad tampered. I get annoyed easily. I would start scolding and saying hurting words when I do get annoyed. But what syaz did to me is unforgivable. She just ended our friendship. I didn't even had the idea to. Since it her way. I can't deny it. I'm very hurt. I'm meant to be leftoutgurl. But I have to remember, I can live without Syazwani. Since she could live without me. I have to other friends who now have change for the better. Trio we call ourselves. What ever happens, I must bury my broken self deep inside me. No one has to know I'm hurt and broken. comments pls!
based on the previous post please leave a comments about it. I wonder is she realize her mistakes.. No such things as 'angels without wings in disguise'
I believed that friends are angels without wings in disguise. Now I believe that friends are friends. Angels are angels. There's no such things as angels without wings. I thought 'SHE' was my angels in disguise. I was wrong. I did trust her, even not at the first time. But I trusted her after a while. I finally understand why Sufiqa hated her. It was worthless that I made them friends again as I finally understand why. 1st, yesterday she scolded me for replying her sms late. In the sms she asked me whether netball training has ended or not. I WAS PLAYING IN A GAME AND COULD NOT REPLY HER. By the time I could FINALLY reply her, the training ended. She scolded me for replying her late because if I replied her earlier, she would have been in time before the training ended. I was hurt. How could I reply if I was playing? Could she? NO. Today she asked me if I was going to CNY concert at JWPS and with who I was going. I said with my triplets.(the trio psychos) She asked who is my triplets, I said someone and if she wants to know she will have to see later. She said whatever and she don't care who. I actually wanted to surprise her on that day. I know she missed Haniss, so I wanted to surprise her. I was wrong. She wouldn't care. I replied that I didn't ask her to care. She said: You called this friendship? Where's your promise? So.. was I suppose to say, You must care? I replied: What are you talking about? I don't understand. Now I understand why sufiqa Hated you. Syaz:You didn't keep your promise that we made on msn. Is that my fault? At least I kept my promise! Me: Ok now I really really understand why Sufiqa hated you. Syaz: Whatever! It's up to you who you trust! You never trusted me! Me: It's not about who I trust or believe. I get from proof! You yourself showed me through this sms why Sufiqa hated you! Syaz:Now I don't really care! I'm wasting my time to care about myself. I meant to be broken! My angel have gave me a signal! You want to hate me? HATE ME! Syaz: our friendship story ends here! Me: So you want our friendship to end! Don't tell people that I ended it. You are the one who wants to end it, not me! You always mention about our promise. You yourself couldn't keep it. Syaz:Ouhk trust me. My lips will only talk to a friend who trust me and my angel. Syaz: I couldn't keep it coz I am stressed! I am fed up with our friendship! Me: I thought you were my angel without wings in disguise! I was wrong! Syaz: I am not an angel! By the way you never trust me at all! Me: How do you know whether I trust you or not? I couldn't trust Fatin and Haniss because they betrayed me before! I couldn't trust Sufiqa because she doesn't care! I couldn't trust Hanis because she's off without me! The one I trusted was you because you understand me! I was wrong! How stupid was I? syaz: I know cause that time when I told you that I got netball tournament and I couldn't turn up for bowling party! And what did you say to me? You don't support me at all! It really really hurt me when u did not trust me and support me! Is that even call you trust? Me: I didn't trust you at 1ST! But I trusted you after that! But you told me that you don't care whether I trust you or not! Syaz: Where is Elliyana who is always there for me? I am waiting for that Ell for a long time! Syaz: its still the same thing that u didn't trust me! Me: Who are you? where is syazwani? Don't tell me your syaz cause the Syaz I know is not ignorance! Syaz: Your right! This is not the real me! As I told you now that I will behave weirdly. There is 3 person in 1 body! You are right! I dun even know who I am! Am I a girl who want to be a permanent emo? Am I a bad friend? Who am I? I want to turn over a new leaf If that a correct way! ~end of conversation~ Saturday, 2 February 2008
  These are pictures of us. THE TRIO PSYCHOS Trio Psychoes REUNITE!!!
Friday, 1 February 2008
YAY!! Okay.. even though we have not fully reunite but tomorrow we will. Haniss Maria now has a handphone and just sms-ed me. I miss her hell loads! We were called 'twins' And plus Fatin.. We are the TRIO PSYCHO! LOL. Can't wait for tomorrow. I want us to be like the 'old us' always laughing and making jokes. And of 'coz, NETBALL. We are going to play like old times. And REWIND to the past. REWIND<<<<
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